Oct. 9th, 2016

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thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND, STOP SCREAMING” –me, when multiple timers on my ovens are going off at work while I am trying to do something else. (I am very grouchy and mean to the inanimate objects at my work. .)

“No one asked you,” I tell the inanimate object that just fell over when I’m talking to someone else.

“I know I know I hear you.” Or “oh fuck off no one cares” when the machines or online order printer starts beeping.

“You’re really gonna play it like that” I tell the computer that just crashed in front of a customer. 

Like fuck would I ever say sorry to a table it is the table’s fault and I want vengeance.
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sirartwork:

reblog for noises

TURN THE SOUND ON FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD TURN THE SOUND ON

*dry food crunches*

Ridiculously small kitten: “Myam myam myam. Njam njam njam njam njam njam njam! Myam myam myam nyam nyam myam. Mmmam. Mrrrrram. Meep!”

@captioned-vines

reblog cuz captions amazingly accurate
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icanhelpyouthere:

Headcanon that McGonagall is offended on a personal level that Umbridge loves cats. 

This literally got 600 more notes just while I was at dinner what the fuck

How has nobody thought about this before tbh

Ok but imagine McGonagall in cat form prowling around the castle, in strategically chosen places so that Umbridge will come across her. 

Umbridge takes the cat back to her office and feeds it a little saucer of milk. The cat starts coming back to Umbridge’s office around the same time every night, until eventually Umbridge gets into a little routine of setting out a saucer of milk for the cat before bed. McGonagall now has all the best secrets on Umbridge, all of the results of the evaluations, and most importantly, is in a perfect position to spy on the ministry for the Order of the Phoenix. 

All because Umbridge is obsessed with cats.

The mental image McGonagall lapping up that milk while full of burning hatred for Umbridge amuses me in ways I can hardly describe.
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bookworm221b:

mishawinsexster:

In which Elle Woods is smarter than Sam Winchester.

If we are going with the premise that Elle will be better than Sam at anything she puts her mind to because she is just that awesome, can you imagine how awesome at hunting, or at least research for hunting, she would be?

Just the thought of Sam’s pout upon meeting her makes me giggle.

I want this crossover at least 90% more than all the other crossovers.

We shall call it Supernaturally Blonde.

YES.

SHE’D SHOW UP TO A HUNT IN PINK KITTY HEELS AND RECITE THE LATIN FOR AN EXORCISM PERFECTLY AND HAVE A BEJEWLED SHOTGUN AND DEAN WOULD HAVE AN ANEURYSM

Supernaturally Blonde. Yes. I want it. Elle killing demons with a perky attitude.

as long as she doesn’t sleep with him

we all know what happens to the girls Sam sleeps with

my contribution :D
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scottsmithphotography:

Crystal MIll No 3 | Fall Colors | ©Scott Smith Photography

Via ShutterForge

The Crystal Mill, or the Old Mill is an 1892 wooden powerhouse located on an outcrop above the Crystal River in Crystal, Colorado
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thecommonchick:

OCTOBER THROUGH DECEMBER IS LIT. DONT EVEN ARGUE. HAPPY HALLOTHANKSMAS.
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tastefullyoffensive:

sirartwork:

Birb draws a masterpiece.
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stimmyabby:

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

This is so well put I am stunned
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pumpkinbisexual:

my aesthetic is jessica and luke scoffing at the costumes their comic book iterations have worn while meanwhile mr. matthew michael murdock 
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roachpatrol:

okay that’s like an american being named Bobby ‘Big Guns’ Truckpunch from Springfield, so what the heck

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