Oct. 23rd, 2016

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Rejected anthology submission
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Okay so this tweet is a bit of satire to point out the absurdity of the #BlueLivesMatter narrative that blindly elevates police to hero status (see this post).

But I just had to comment on this particular tweet. So once upon a time, I was dating a girl who was a social worker. Like, she was the real deal. She even had a masters degree in social work. Anyway, one day she called me and said her car had broke down and she didn’t have Triple A, and asked if I could come get her. So I took the rest of the day off work and went to get her. We got her car towed to a repair shop and they said it would take a day to fix it, but she was really upset that she was going to miss some appointments with clients.

Long story short, I drove her to the rest of her appointments, and OH MY GOD. I’m a fairly big guy, and growing up I’ve lived in some pretty rough neighborhoods, but even EYE was afraid to go into some of the places where she had appointments. Incredibly impoverished black and white neighborhoods. I remember being sO impressed with her that day. At the end of the day, I asked her if this was a normal day for her, and she looked surprised (and a little annoyed) and said, “Yes. My clients are some of the nicest most honest people I’ve met in my life,” and she said other than a couple of times, she’s never worried for her safety. And she had been doing that job straight out of college.

And she did this every day, WITHOUT guns like our “brave” police.

So yeah, there’s definitely a lot of other professions that are far, far more important than the police, and these people manage to do their jobs without “accidentally” murdering the people they’re supposed to be helping.

Unmitigated racism and cowardice (around completely unarmed black people) plagues American police forces.
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You don’t have to separate these things with Jefferson.

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10. Divest yourself of ideas of quality. Quality matters in the end. Quantity matters in the beginning. Produce. Create. Write. Iterate. As I am fond of saying, that first draft isn’t just a zero draft, it isn’t just a vomit draft — it’s the beachstorming draft. It’s just you trying to land enough boats and enough soldiers on the sand that you can carve out a space to call your own. You’re just trying to advance the thing — one bloody, gory inch at a time. Quality? Fuck quality. Just get up the beach. You will rewrite history later.

I am now referring to my table at the cafe my ‘WORD DISGORGEMENT BUBBLE’  *hissssssssssssss*
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Ghosts are real. This much I know.
⇁ Crimson Peak (2015)
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The premise: Edgar Allan Poe’s famous short story “The Cask of Amontillado” is about a man named Montresor who tricks his frenemy Fortunado into following him deep into the catacombs below his mansion, promising that is totally where he stores rare Amontillado wine. Monstresor chains Fortunado in a tiny chamber and walls him in, leaving him to die. Cold, right? 

“The Cask of Amontillado” is widely considered to be Poe’s most perfect short story. The whole thing is less than fives pages long. Most people are required to read it in high school. If you haven’t read it before (or you need to reread it), you can read it HERE or HERE.

ORRRRRR you could watch an entertaining video recap HERE or HERE.

So, why’s it such a popular meme?

1) It is based on an old-but-famous short story, providing participants with a smug satisfaction at having read something intellectual and classic, BUT it’s well-known enough that people can share knowing chuckles over the reference. Because it’s no fun making a clever allusion if nobody gets the joke.

2) It becomes funnier if some people don’t get it. Because in the story, Fortunado didn’t get it, either. This creates opportunities for “just go back a little further” or “come to my basement and I’ll show you” jokes. 

3) It’s easy to adapt into existing memes and pop culture references. For example:

Caveman Spongebob

Brick wall Spongebob

Thomas the Tank Engine

Hand-clap callout

Me, an intellectual AND also another Me, an intellectual! 

cute animals

I know the meme hivemind can adapt pretty much anything, but you’d think a Gothic short story written in the 1800s would be more of a challenge. 

4) Fortunado is dressed as a jester for a costume party. That’s right: the story is about murdering a clown. People like the concept of turning the tables on those clowns.

5) Trump won’t shut up about building walls. Imagining that Cheeto-faced clown getting walled up appeals to a certain poetic justice. (Hahaha, Poe-etic!)

6) It’s October, and many teachers (like me!) are busting out the Poe stories. Many Tumblr users are high school students (though some of us Tumblrites, I will remind you, are Old Peeps). 

7) The entire story is teeming with dramatic irony. We, the readers, know that Montresor is planning to stone-cold murder Fortunado. But Fortunado thinks he’s just going to get some fancy wine from his friend who is totally not mad at him. Fortunado’s name even means “lucky,” which is darkly hilarious. And kids today LOVE enjoying things ironically, and enjoying irony itself. Also, Poe would probably find these memes delightfully ironic. 
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lmao pansy parkinson isnt a ‘’’tough girl feminist who doesnt play by anyones rules’’’ shes a bully and is blatantly racist and prejudiced and i wont have people glorifying her for this


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