I’m scared because I assumed that I’d
Oct. 18th, 2016 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
strix_albavia http://ift.tt/2efM1US:
I’m scared because I assumed that I’d stop missing Lima once I’d been gone for a year, and I’m afraid that it’s just going to be one more thing that periodically crushes me under a wave of longing for years to come; and I feel guilty talking about it because it’s all very White Girl Goes To Africa, isn’t it?
I’m scared because in a weird way it feels like breaking up with my ex: we sat down to plan out what our lives together would look like, and I realized that it would be the better part of a decade before we were even remotely likely to live on the same continent. I’m unlikely to ever live there again; I might not even be able to visit for a long time, and it hurts.
It’s not like I miss everything - I was lonely and I stood out, my food went bad really quickly, and my house was really freaking weird. But I miss going outside at night and being surrounded by people. I miss the skyline and the stores and I miss being able to go anywhere in the city and find my way back home.
New England is incomparably gorgeous in the autumn, and I’m happy to be here for it because being in the city of perpetual cloud cover when everything was beautiful here was genuinely depressing. I just … want to take some elements of there, and bring them here. Boston is good for its people and for its dumb New England architecture, but as a city it’s not my favorite.
I’m scared because I assumed that I’d stop missing Lima once I’d been gone for a year, and I’m afraid that it’s just going to be one more thing that periodically crushes me under a wave of longing for years to come; and I feel guilty talking about it because it’s all very White Girl Goes To Africa, isn’t it?
I’m scared because in a weird way it feels like breaking up with my ex: we sat down to plan out what our lives together would look like, and I realized that it would be the better part of a decade before we were even remotely likely to live on the same continent. I’m unlikely to ever live there again; I might not even be able to visit for a long time, and it hurts.
It’s not like I miss everything - I was lonely and I stood out, my food went bad really quickly, and my house was really freaking weird. But I miss going outside at night and being surrounded by people. I miss the skyline and the stores and I miss being able to go anywhere in the city and find my way back home.
New England is incomparably gorgeous in the autumn, and I’m happy to be here for it because being in the city of perpetual cloud cover when everything was beautiful here was genuinely depressing. I just … want to take some elements of there, and bring them here. Boston is good for its people and for its dumb New England architecture, but as a city it’s not my favorite.
