strix alba

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sasukehateblog:

me: can i say something mean and petty?

my friends, sitting at the edge of their chairs, alert and ready: absolutely

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olympiavale:

i’ve had this saved in my drafts since july

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castielsteenwolf:

yourspookyginger:

my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody is else is equally or more uncomfortable I develop the sudden ability to Do The Thing

i cant go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup im out of my seat in a second

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1. maple trees

2. botanical illustrations

3. really well-written fanfiction

4. roasted turkey

5. mountains

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dreamadove:

I want to be politically informed and educated but I also wanna have a good day and be in a good mood. Do you see my problem?

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peppermintsdicks:

when you’re watching a movie and suddenly there’s a forced hetero romance

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saathi1013:

Me: Wow, I super do not want these characters to get together in canon.Also me: *reads all the fanfic I can find for that ship*

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lierdumoa:

hazeldomain:

smellslikeburntpopcorn:

grimreaperchibi:

meeko-mar:

sweetlyminiaturesublime:

k-lionheart:

ralkana:

alykat86:

bittyblueeyes:

nominanescio:

joestoyes:

unironicallyenthusiasticknitter:

dafezgirl:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND, STOP SCREAMING” –me, when multiple timers on my ovens are going off at work while I am trying to do something else. (I am very grouchy and mean to the inanimate objects at my work. .)

“No one asked you,” I tell the inanimate object that just fell over when I’m talking to someone else.

“I know I know I hear you.” Or “oh fuck off no one cares” when the machines or online order printer starts beeping.

“You’re really gonna play it like that” I tell the computer that just crashed in front of a customer. 

Like fuck would I ever say sorry to a table it is the table’s fault and I want vengeance.

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hardly-questionable:

duerme07:

overblush:

mijo:

jumex:

brotherwife:

skeetshoot:

varsityqueerleadercaptain:

windingsheet:

theglintoftherail:

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE

FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU

WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST

CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS

ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS

ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM

ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT

BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU

CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU

MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED

DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF

BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS

TRY COCONUT OIL

CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING

STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD

THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK

SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS

PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE

NO GOOD REASON, SORRY

Mallory Ortberg plz stop laying my psyche bare for the world to see

I feel.. Attacked

okay …

….

wow

Drag me

girl

@hardly-questionable

bruh why you gonna read me like this

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positive-lesbian-vibes:

Seeing other gay people in public is such a therapeutic experience like every time I see two girls or two boys together like holding hands or on a date I get like 5 years added onto my life