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lunac-witchcraft:

domhnall-an-fheannag:

cityelf:

Concept: an immortal who doesn’t shy away from photos or paintings. Draws self portraits on cave walls. Photobombs everything with a pout and a suave pose. Commissions numerous portraits of themself as a literary Romantic before faking their death. Tries to be at least slightly famous every time they have a new identity. Creates a conspiracy blog linking all their past photos together before mysteriously disappearing in mysterious circumstances. Mysteriously. Usually only disappears for 10 to 20 years after “"dying”“ before making another appearance. Everyone else in the immortal community lowkey hates them. “Ah, fuck. You’ll never guess who’s resurfaced again.” “Fucking… Dave?” “Fucking Dave.”

Now I can reblog this
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benepla:

if i didnt know who these characters were i’d say its a french indie gay romantic drama that is playing a little too heavily with color symbolism
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nyquildriver:

just-shower-thoughts:

The ‘talking mirror’ trope from fairy tales probably originated when a careless time-traveler was seen using a Smart phone or a tablet.

#Siri Siri on my phone#how the fuck do I get home
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voynichs:

british romanticism: i went into the woods and i found a beautiful woman, but she wasn’t really a woman, she was my Muse and the woods is my mind

american romanticism: i went into the woods and found the devil and he gave me a clock, but the clock was actually the industrial revolution and it fucking killed me
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eugeniedanglars:

popularlesbian:

i’ll say. i hate seeing this meme every day on my dash. it is an eyesore, and always staring at me

@literarymagpie
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tsarbucks:

lethbian:

hmmmm……

The Cask Of Amontillado (1846)
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tastefullyoffensive:

sirartwork:

Birb draws a masterpiece.
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lierdumoa:

hazeldomain:

smellslikeburntpopcorn:

grimreaperchibi:

meeko-mar:

sweetlyminiaturesublime:

k-lionheart:

ralkana:

alykat86:

bittyblueeyes:

nominanescio:

joestoyes:

unironicallyenthusiasticknitter:

dafezgirl:

thomas-is-so-vine-and-kind:

“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do

“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over

“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put

“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into

“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.

“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.

“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.

“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.

JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE

“GIVE ME A DAMN SECOND, STOP SCREAMING” –me, when multiple timers on my ovens are going off at work while I am trying to do something else. (I am very grouchy and mean to the inanimate objects at my work. .)

“No one asked you,” I tell the inanimate object that just fell over when I’m talking to someone else.

“I know I know I hear you.” Or “oh fuck off no one cares” when the machines or online order printer starts beeping.

“You’re really gonna play it like that” I tell the computer that just crashed in front of a customer. 

Like fuck would I ever say sorry to a table it is the table’s fault and I want vengeance.
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onion-souls:

telasero:

onion-souls:

Great idea that will have no negative consequences: Witch hunters, but for clowns

something like this actually happened at UMass Amherst

Good. The people of Massachusetts have traditionally been very rational and level-headed in their witchhunts.
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historyandmemes:

Amelia Earhart: Next stop … Hawaii!

The plane:
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a bro: actually I'm a devil's advocate
satan: *appears from hell* you're not even a lawyer, chad
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getawaywithgifs:

Viola Davis cried to a wooden dummy
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sunandreign:

Steve Lichman, #2 - Pure of Heart

My friend showed me this comic last night and I’m so pleased it exists.

More here. They also have a Kickstarter though they surpassed their goal threefold on day 1. I so want this book when it comes out.
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yawpkatsi:

robotmango:

hellenhighwater:

yawpkatsi:

Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.

Bucky posts things like

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING
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pilgrimkitty:

unbucaneve:

jenesaispourquoi:

professorsparklepants:

Why does everyone say “house-wife” or “house-husband” when “House-spouse” is not only gender neutral, but also RHYMES?

the prof asks the important questions.

Wait, spouse rhymes with house? I always pronounced it ‘spooze’ in my head /o\ WHY IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO WEIRD!!!

Because English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.
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nicknamenyquil:

linkondrugs:

father why

This time on Veggie Tales: Abraham and Isaac.
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sourcedumal:

“My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away
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yellingintothevoid:

authoratmidnight:

zozi-schlegel:

inquisitorhierarch:

betterbemeta:

volfish:

evnw:

railroadsoftware:

handsomejackass:

horse people are weird

what does this mean

horses can see demons

@betterbemeta are you able to translate this? Is it true horses can see netherbeings?? Will we ever know the extent of their powers???

I think I have reblogged this before but I’ll answer it again bc its a fascinating answer I feel and i was more funny than informational last time.

The truth is that horses see what they think are nether beings, I guess. They have a perfect storm of sensory perception that, useful for prey beings, marks false positives on mortal danger all the time. Which is advantageous to a flight-based prey species: running from danger when you’re super fast is much ‘cheaper’ than fighting, so you waste almost nothing from running from a threat that’s not there. Versus, you blow everything if you don’t see a threat that is there.

Horses also have their eyes positioned on the sides of their heads, which gives them an incredible range of peripheral vision almost around their entire body with only a few blind spots you can sneak up on them in. But this comes at the cost of binocular vision; they can only judge distance for things straight ahead of them. Super useful for preventing predators sneaking up from the sides or behind, but useless for recognizing familiar shapes with the precision we can.

Basically we now have a walking couch with anxiety its going to get attacked at any second, that can see almost everything, but mostly only out of the corner of its eye. It has a few blind spots and anything that suddenly appears out of them is terrifying to it. Combine that with that it actually has far superior low-light vision than us, and that its ears can swivel in any directions like radar dishes, and you’ve basically given a nervous wreck a highly accurate but imprecise danger-dar.

To be concise: all horses, even the most chill horses, on some level believe they are living in a survival horror.

This means that you could approach it in a flapping poncho and if it can’t recognize your shape as human, they mistake you for SATAN… or you could pass this one broken down tractor you’ve passed 100 times on a trail ride, but today is the day it will ATTACK… or your horse could feel a horsefly bite from its blind spot and MAMA, I’VE BEEN HIT!!!… or you could both approach a fallen log in the woods but in the low light your horse is going to see the tree rings as THE EYE OF MORDOR.

However, they actually have kind of a cool compensation for this– they are social animals, and instinctively look towards leadership. In the wild or out at pasture, this is their most willful, pushy, decisive leader horse who decides where to go and where it’s safe. But humans often take this role both as riders and on the ground. They are always watching and feeling for human reactions to things. This is why moving in a calm, decisive way and always giving clear commands is key to working with this kind of animal. Confusing commands, screaming, panic, visible distress, and chaos will signal to a horse that you, brave leader are freaked out… so it should freak out too!

On one hand, you’ll get horses that will decide that they are the leader and you are not, so getting them to listen to you can be tough– requiring patience and skill more than force. On the other hand, a good enough rider and a well-trained horse (or a horse with specialized training) can venture into dangerous situations, loud and scary environments, etc. calmly and confidently.

The joke in OP though is that many horses that are bred to be very fast, like thoroughbreds, are also bred and encouraged to be high-energy and highstrung. Making them more anxious and prone to seeing those ‘demons.’ All horses in a sense are going to be your anxious friend, but racehorses and polo ponies and other sport horses can sometimes be your anxious friend that thinks they live in Silent Hill.

Reblogging some horse knowledge for certain people who write fantasy books but know nothing about horses *cough cough*

highlights:“Basically we now have a walking couch with anxiety its going to get attacked at any second.”

“All horses in a sense are going to be your anxious friend, but racehorses and polo ponies and other sport horses can sometimes be your anxious friend that thinks they live in Silent Hill.”

@yellingintothevoid

I laughed all the way through this, because yes.

My horse is afraid of white things, possibly because he got beat up by an ornery grey pony when he was young.  Red car, fine.  Black car, fine.  Silver car, fine.  White car?

Also that giant rock at my old riding barn that one of the school horses, Logan, spooked at every single trail ride for the entire four or five years I was there.

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